these have struck those near and dear to me. a little too close for comfort perhaps, leading me to reflect on my everyday automatism. 

so i asked myself, at 25, what is the proudest achievement i have of myself? materially, graduating from my law degree and moving out of my parent's home. spiritually, becoming a youth leader and developing in my walk with God, growing kinder (i hope).

none of the above are earth-shaking moments. which i suppose i would have liked to have, just to boost my ego. but the main point is, would i be able to face God to account for my talents?  could i have done more, can i do more? 

my industry is leading me towards a path which i would not like to tread. i used to be ambitious in that sense, that i would not mind becoming a pretender, liar or cheat. but times have changed and so have i. do i still want to stay in an industry where being nice is taken advantage of and being honest is frowned upon? can i turn a blind eye to dubious practices, the purposes of which are just to save someone's ego, and not a life? i can, perhaps, for my junior years, when i still have patience and strength. but this cannot go on for the rest of my working life.

seems that i'm quite clear in my mind on how i should go about the next few years. will i have regrets? that's an answer i'll have only after i've lived. 

someone made this observation about me. i need to be told what to do. my life has been about following conventional wisdom and the tried & true. sure, maybe one or two things i do are a little different, but my overall life has been through the standard formula. go to school, get a job, date and probably get married and have kids, raise them up and grow old to die. but what else was i hoping i'd do? morph into the next elijah and get carried up to the heavens? 

then i am reminded by this story i heard of a man, just your average joe. but this particular average joe had a good heart, a kind serving heart. when he died, the testimonies from those he touched were many. powerful and strong, they spoke of how he helped and gave them time and money, even out of the little he had. perhaps that's the legacy that i would want to leave behind. 

an everyday man, with an extraordinary heart.